How to Put Your Life Together

A number of years ago, my sister had a particularly traumatic event while I was away at college. She had been engaged to be married and had spent a considerable amount of her earnings to purchase furniture and other things for her new home only to discover that her fiance was being unfaithful. She was disconsolate; coming home from work every day, shutting herself in her room and playing Carole King over and over again. This happened toward the end of my spring semester, lasted through the summer and was still going on when I left for school again in the fall. At the time, I didn't have the tools available to me that I have now to help her sort the whole thing out and help her get back on her feet so, in the event that others may benefit, here's what I might have said to her.

In painful situations such as this one, we come face to face with experiences that we are certain we do not want; and, consequently, seek to avoid having again. However, the power of prevention is only possible if we are not victims; that is, unless we are willing to search out what we contributed to bringing about any particular state of affairs, then we are powerless to change that state of affairs or to prevent it from happening again since we can only change that over which we have some control. It might have been the wisdom of the universe to see that I didn't have these tools then because, now that I think of it, my sister would not have taken very kindly to my saying that she contributed to his unfaithfulness. Of course, this is not what I'm saying at all; what I'm saying is that we create our own experiences and if we are not doing it consciously, then we are likely to get a lot of what we do not want because we do create all the time. The fact that we do end up with a lot of experiences that are, shall I say, unfortunate is ample proof that we have not arrived at mastery over that creative process; and how to achieve that mastery is what I hope to present here.

STAGE ONE--The Mind

Let me begin with the fact that, apart from how we consider nature, there is nothing in our experience that was not first a thought; thought and feeling combine to bring things into manifestation. Obviously, then, if we wish to control what we bring into our experience we must establish control over both our thoughts and our feelings. Again, I'm not sure that at my sister's age she would have had the self-discipline and maturity to be able to exercise the control needed...but...that's water over the wheel and we'll never know. At any rate, the first step in rebuilding your life is to realize that you built the life you've got now. So...are you overweight...do you smoke...do you drink...are you a loner...do you hate your job...whatever the rubble you see as your life, you can rebuild it and regain control of it. In short, you can make your dreams come true; and here's how.

It's one thing to think up something you want; it's another thing entirely to claim it. Without going into too much philosophical detail, the only way to really claim something is to be it; and the only way to do that is to affirm "I Am...(whatever it is you want)." This brings me to my first corollary: think only the thoughts that bring you what you want...visualize it and imagine yourself already enjoying it. The temptation to dwell on past hurts is great but that only serves to bring you more of the same. One question that I might have been able to ask of my sister without her getting too upset is: "what have you learned about your ability to choose love?" I think she would have been willing to consider that question in spite of the fact that every disappointment is really an indictment of our ability to choose, thus, a commentary on whether we can "get it right," or not. Keep in mind, however, that "getting it right" is not concerned with ideal standards set up by parents, church, or state; rather, "getting it right" means "producing happiness in my experience." No one really likes to discover that they are wrong, especially in such emotionally charged situations as love; however, unless you are willing to admit that your life is in rubble, you never take up the rebuilding in earnest. This is the basis of all 12-step programs--you must come to a point where you see that what you are doing is not producing the results that you want. The point of the question is to take the mind off a consideration of the other and put it squarely on oneself; if we continually blame the other, we are inviting more and more of the same type of experiences into our life because that is what we are thinking about and investing it with feeling. This brings me to my second corollary: the intensity of the feeling with which we think the thoughts we think determines the speed with which we manifest those thoughts. It should come as no surprise that feelings of love create lasting constructive experiences while feelings of hate, or even mild dislike, bring about destructive experiences.

Thoughts and feelings are particular instances of attention; they are ways in which we "pay attention." That to which we give our attention, we give our life; and it is by our own life that those creations come alive and are manifest. So, not only must we watch our thoughts and feelings, we must also be aware of everything to which we give our attention--everything from friends to glances at billboards; from music to books to movies and tv; from strangers on the street to foibles of family members. A corollary to this principle is to notice that "vices" come only as a complete world into your experience; that is, it is not possible to isolate a "vice" as an experience, every action or activity, whether virtue or vice, is a hologram of a world, complete with language, fashion, friends, etc. When you are rebuilding your life, it may seem like you are doing it one brick at a time, but you are really undermining a whole world and replacing it with another, more serviceable world. Don't lose sight of this fact: you ARE your world--the "I AM" of you holds everything in your experience in place and to re-place it you will need the assistance of that part of you from which you are estranged in consciousness, the "I AM" Presence within you. Consider the fact that if, in your dream, you trip on a root and skin your knee, you are the root, the knee, and the blood.

A good starting place in getting a "checkup from the neck up" is with Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich; this is an amazing book and very inspiring. Read from it every day. The movie, The Secret, is also a good beginning spot, but I recommend Hill first. If you want some more reading later, contact me and I'll suggest some more.

STAGE TWO--The Body

I call this stage two, but the fact is, they are not stages at all; indeed, they are concurrent. The cleansing and strengthening of the body is essential in putting your life back together. This is not because the body is a platform upon which everything is built, but because it is a radiating center for a Mighty Energy that needs a clear channel through which to flow.

It has been pretty well established that our body renews itself entirely in less than a year; that is, every cell is replace with a new one. Looking at the increasing aging population you wouldn't think that this was the case but it is. The question, then, is: why do we get sick and fall into dysfunction? The answer is simple and has been known for an extremely long time: you are what you eat, both mentally and physically. Fill your mind with positive, loving thoughts of light and your body with food made from light and you will experience both health and longevity. Let me recommend a smoothy that I use:

Green Smoothie
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 piece of ginger root, peeled; about the size of the part of your thumb under the nail.
3 red bell peppers (or 3 yellow, orange or mixed)
1/2 to a whole avocado
3 cups of kale
2 cups of blessed water ("Mighty 'I AM' Presence, bless this water.")
Put all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth--'puree' setting works for me

This will make enough for a day's worth of drinks. As you begin a regimen of re-sensitizing your body to nutrients, you will experience unpleasant symptoms until the body has been detoxified and thrown off the poisons and then you will notice dramatic changes in skin tone, energy, etc. This recipe was taken from There is a Cure for Diabetes by Gabriel Cousens, M.D., a book I discovered when researching diabetes after my sister was diagnosed with adult onset diabetes. Additionally, Doctor Cousens recommends a raw food (not meat) regimen and there are a number of excellent recipe books for that. See, for instance, Jenna Norwood or Ani Phyo on Facebook.

You can greatly accelerate the cleansing of your body with exercise because it forces the body either to burn what is there or eliminate it; this doesn't have to be full-throttled sweat lodge exhaustion either...walk around the mall, swim, or go for a bike ride around the neighborhood. Even small amounts of exercise do wonders for the attitude and self-esteem; and nearly every problem we have has its roots in self-esteem because we don't really know who we are and live as though we are someone we are not.

STAGE THREE--Society

Keep in mind my caveat about these not really being stages and also the insight that both vices and virtues do not appear individually but as worlds. This means that if there is a part of your life with which you are not happy (overweight, always tired, no money, etc.), then your associates and friends are probably contributing to it in an important way. The breakdown in personal judgment that creates the problem with which you are chiefly concerned also infects your ability to choose regarding everything else, and this includes friends--especially friends. In my sister's case, her poor judgment regarding her fiance drove her to choose solitude, when what she needed was social contact. In other cases, the same bad judgment might issue in choosing bad "new best friends." This is because we tend to blame the offender instead of our own bad judgment and we keep creating more of the same for ourselves but with different people. It should come as no surprise that a steady diet of this kind of disappointment will bring about some very low estimates of humanity, eventually driving one to the very behavior disdained in others.

Advanced warning: new friends will not feel comfortable. Take your time; make new friends based on your goals, i.e., if you're in social networks, add some raw food enthusiasts. Look into starting a Mastermind group; this is a group based on the principles of Hill's book and are very powerful in helping you achieve your dreams. Join a networking group like BNI; for professionals, this is an excellent way to socialize with like-minded people.

Invariably, your new choices will rub some of your current friends the "wrong" way and you may "lose" them--but it will only be temporarily. Sooner or later, they will see that they could use a healthy dose of whatever it is you're doing, so don't burn any bridges.

Well...there it is...this is only a sketch but it's enough to get you started. I truly wish I had had this for my sister. Years after her traumatic event she came in contact again with this guy; only this time they married. It was not a happy marriage and it ended badly; she has struggled with weight issues and now diabetes. She hates her job and can't wait until she retires. Your problems aren't "out there," they are within you and unless you change you, you will take the problems with you wherever you go. I'm in your corner, so let's get started!