Reflections on Valentine's Day

Janis Ian gave us a dramatic insight into the darker side of Valentine's Day in her song, "At Seventeen,"* when she noted that:

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Was spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth.

The song continues to eviscerate the maudlin, somewhat hypocritical, notions of romantic love and the effects that that socialized image has upon one who has no access to the social type from which that image is cast.

This example of Ian's also serves to illustrate the linguistic processes of pejoration and amelioration; these are the processes in which the meaning of a word becomes bad or better, respectively, over time. The word "bitch," for instance, illustrates the former while "buggar," the latter. "Bitch" is now a "politically incorrect" word because of its "bad" meaning but its original meaning (and still a vestigial one) is its designation of a female dog. "Buggar" is a term that indicates sodomy but has come to mean something along the lines of "fellow" now.

Ian's song illustrates the pejoration of the notion of Valentine's day but the actual history of Valentine's day, however, is traced back to 270 A.D.

In 270 A.D., marriage had been outlawed by the emperor of Rome, Claudius II. Claudius issued this decree because he thought that married men made bad soldiers since they were reluctant to be torn away from their families in the case of war. Claudius had also outlawed Christianity in this time period because he wished to be praised as the one supreme god, the Emperor of Rome. Valentine was the bishop of Interamna during this period of oppression. Valentine thought that the decrees of Rome were wrong. He believed that people should be free to love God and to marry. Valentine invited the young couples of the area to come to him. When they came, Valentine secretly performed services of matrimony and united the couples.

Valentine was eventually caught and was brought before the emperor. The emperor saw that Valentine had conviction and drive that was unsurpassed among his men. Claudius tried and tried to persuade Valentine to leave Christianity, serve the Roman empire and the Roman gods. In exchange, Claudius would pardon him and make him one of his allies. St. Valentine held to his faith and did not renounce Christ. Because of this, the emperor sentenced him to a three-part execution. First, Valentine would be beaten, then stoned, and then finally, decapitated. Valentine died on February 14th, 270 A.D.

While in prison, waiting for his sentence to be carried out, Valentine fell in love with the jailer's daughter, the blind Asterius. During the course of Valentine's prison stay, a miracle occurred and Asterius regained her sight. Valentine sent her a final farewell note. He signed his last note, "From Your Valentine." Even today, this message remains as the motto for our Valentine's Day celebrations.**

But...this story aside and laying aside, also, all consideration of the commercialized notion of romantic love...don't we have an appreciation for the soft light that shines from another in kindness, in gentleness, and in consideration? I agree; too much has been made of romantic love, because the Pure Love of God goes not below the heart; but, still, let us give due recognition to that soft light because it helps us to find and heal the wounded part of our self about which Ian sang.

A friend was visiting from the east and we were sharing a few moments in reflective conversation when we noticed some girls passing by...all chatty and decked out. He said that he knew all about "that" type of girl "in push-up bras trying to get the attention from men that she didn't get from her daddy..." I knew exactly what he meant and there's a similar statement for young men of that age, too, but it dawned on me that that's the very soil in which these crazy notions of "romantic" love ever get started--fathers are not affectionate or instructive with their children. Consequently, neither the young men nor the young ladies ever come away with anything like self-esteem; they mistake "belonging" to a group, or cadre, for personal authenticity; mistaking, also, the rebellion of style for true courage of convictions. They languish in the loss of personal identity and seek refuge in the empty affirmation offered the body by pleasure.

So...adult up...look approvingly on the young ladies and men that you meet; shine that "soft light" because it's acceptable to everyone...and...Happy Valentine's Day!!


*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CziYn0n6zkI
**http://www.lhmint.org/valentines/story.htm